Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
