Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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