I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What a dumb baby whore.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
