Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
