im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize