I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
