there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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