I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
