You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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