I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
