apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
