But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
