My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize