Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize