So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
