Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
