you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
