last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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