Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
