they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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