I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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