shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize