I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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