Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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