You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
