He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
