How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
