I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
