Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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