Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
