exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
