Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
