I puked a lego.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
