I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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