I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
