I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
