feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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