I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
