you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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