no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
