It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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