woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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