why didn't you poke me back
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
do herpes really smell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Less talking, more tequila
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
