hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
