it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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