have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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