I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
