Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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