Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
