i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
