Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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