I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
pop tarts are not kleenex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize