you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
