I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the day after is always just damage control
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize