I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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