R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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