Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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