im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
