party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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