So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
